June 24, 2009 at 11:25 am (Freedom, Only Human)
Tags: christianity, judgment, love, pharisee, poor, recovering, rich
I am such a hypocrite.
I have “issues.”
I formulate judgments about people when I’m driving behind their Range Rovers, or when I see houses that more resemble fortresses. I confess, I revert to my critical tendency to draw conclusions about people by observing excess and America’s addiction to it.
Do I ever stop for a moment to consider that the people, whose plethora of possessions I’m using to formulate my judgment about their characters, may in fact be miserable?
Do I consider that their glorious houses may be little more than fancy structures that offer no real comfort? That they may not offer any comfort of a real “home”?
When I roll my eyes about the cushy job that was handed to someone, do I consider that person may actually be enslaved by it?
It is not right that I can feel all high and mighty about my ability to appreciate and accept the diversity of race, religion and ideology, yet fail to suspend judgment of “rich” people, who are sometimes poorer than I.
I’m not right. I’m guilty.
My name is Alexa, and I’m a pharisee.
© Alexa Lopez, 2009
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May 15, 2009 at 10:54 am (Only Human)
Tags: anxious, David, human, Psalm 139
I love Psalm 139. I read it often, though I do not always believe what I’m reading as it applies to me.
David is having a beautiful time of adoration for God, confessing all the truths about God’s presence and God’s love for him.
Suddenly his meditation, the stream of his heart’s adoration, is interrupted by…his mind. In verses 19-22, David goes on an ugly rant. An angry rant. A rant about others who misuse God’s name, who rise up against Him. David’s focus has changed from adoring God to the people who make a mockery of God’s name.
But then…oh yes, but then…David stops.
It seems he suddenly realizes the noise of his rant and stops to take a deep breath. Perhaps verses 19-22 of this beautiful psalm are when his ears, his mind become too loud for him to see, hear, focus clearly on God and his adoration for Him. He begins verse 23 with the best prayer:
Search me…
His focus becomes one that admits his human propensity to have “anxious thoughts” and “offensive ways” in him.
David stops the flood of thoughts about “the evildoers” and seeks God. Only God can fix. Only God can heal. David knows this, by the sheer turning of his thoughts back toward acknowledgment of God’s ability to handle it all and do it well.
He is, after all, God.
Search me, O God and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
by Alexa Lopez, 2009
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